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There are no words

There are no words that can truly express my feelings about Friday’s school shooting in Newtown, CT. But I feel like I have to write them down, to get it out. To try to piece this together. To try to find a way to clear my head of the images, the stories. There are a million thoughts about this tragedy that have been swirling through my head since it happened. I feel an overall sadness about the state of the world we live in, and constantly on the brink of tears.  Sickened, saddened, irate, these are all words that come to mind to descibe how I feel. . I just cannot wrap my brain around the purely evil act of murdering innocent small children. 20 of them. Of course the 8 adults as well, and my heart goes out to their loved ones too. But I cannot look at the photos in the news of these smiling babies, age 6 and 7, who had their whole lives ahead of them, without thinking of my own daughter. I don’t know how one goes on after losing a child so violently, so senselessly.  I really don’t.  What I’m really having a hard time with is the fact that the murderer, who was clearly mentally ill, had access to multiple assault weapons to carry out this massacre. Not a hunting rifle not a single handgun. Multiple assault weapons that have no business being in a family home, much less in the hands of a mentally ill person. I’ve bit my tongue when a co-worker said “crazy people will always fild a way to kill people if they are set on it”, and when I have heard the same old talk all weekend about our constitutional rights to bear arms, but I cannot for the life of me understand how anyone who is a parent would not be for some sort of gun control. This tragedy has got to be the tipping point. Doesn’t it? If not this, then what? What will it take to ban the availabilty of assault weapons to civilians? I pray that 2013 brings us some sort of reform on this subject, for the sake of our children. For now, I continue to try to make this Christmas season as special and magical as I possibly can, for my sweet baby girl. I want all of her days to be filled with wonder, magic, laughter, and love. But I know the day will come when she will be old enough to know about these atrocities, and that makes me sad.  Until then, I will wrap my arms around her and protect her to the best that I can, tell her I love her more than she knows, and pray that there will be a better way soon.

This is what I was greeted to first thing this morning- those four sweet words from my sweet baby girl. Melt.  This year she seems to understand that this is a special day for mamas- and wished me a happy day all day long. I was treated to sunflowers, a special homemade card (wook mama, I made an R and an E for you) and chocolate! My people know me well :)

What she could not possibly understand at this age is just how full of love my heart is for her, and that bringing her into this world has made me be more of the person I was always intended to be.  I thank God for the opportunity to be this child’s mother and to feel the unconditional love that we have  for each other.

We spent the day with my mama, taking her to lunch and relaxing in the backyard. It was just one of those days that felt really really good.

10 Years

Last weekend Wayne and I celebrated ten years of marriage. It’s strange- sometimes it seems as if it was yesterday and sometimes it feels very long ago, but it definitely doesn’t feel like it’s been ten years!  We spent the weekend in San Antonio at the Hyatt Hill Country Resort and had an amazing time just relaxing- reading, biking, walking, dinner and drinks and just catching up. Back at the ranch, Romy was on cloud nine with her Mimi who stayed at our house to watch her.  It was our first weekend away without her since she was born, and although we missed her very much, I daresay I could get used to a yearly weekend getaway ;) …..

Words really can’t express how much love and gratitude I feel for this man….

Meet Jingle Bells

Our little elf who came to us on Thanksgiving to watch over the little person in the house. Each night while we sleep he flies back to the North Pole to give his report to Santa. Then he flies back to our house before morning and sometimes get into mischief in the middle of the night. We never know where we’ll find him in the morning….

Getting into the Smarties stash

hanging out with the snow family

writing messages

getting crazy with the tape

I have a feeling there will be more shenanigans to come with this guy over the next week. Stay tuned!

Thanksgiving recap

Wayne’s parents Walter and Marie, better known around here as Grandad and Rie, came down for Thanksgiving. My mom was also over and we had a very nice day, complete with some post feast swinging outside.

The next day we went to the Homestead Fair in Waco  for the second year in a row. I tried to link it but it didn’t work. Oh well. It’s this huge craft, food, music type outdoor festival type event where you can spend the whole day getting lost in the simpler forms of life. Make your own cheese, take a horse and carriage ride, hear children sing in a choir, eat cider doughnuts, pet baby animals, etc. The weather was perfect this year. Blue skies and temps in the 60′s! Perfect for strolling around outdoors.

 

trick or treat

Happy November 1st! Did I really just type November 1st? Geeze. I’m really glad we’re knee deep in Autumn, but at the same time, I’m not quite ready for all of the holiday hubbub surrounding Thanksgiving and Christmas just yet. So I will talk about our Halloween. We had a really fun Halloween weekend, starting out on Saturday with a little Fall Festival at Ro’s school, and topped off yesterday with trick or treating. Little Miss’s first time! I wasn’t sure what to expect— would she be shy and scared and not really want to go up to the doors? Or would she love it and run up to each house squealing in delight? Come to find out, she is quite the fan of trick or treating and by the second or third house she was a real pro! She wanted to ring all the doorbells and she said trick or treat loud and clear and really poured on the charm. A couple of times people thought she was a mouse and she would tell them “I’m a kitty”.  Where does she get the chutzpah? Not from me! We went with some friends who have a 1 yr. old little boy, who made the cutest vampire you ever did see. We all commented on how fun it is to be re-living our childhood by taking our own kids out trick or treating. I honestly can’t wait to do it again next year.

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